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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Mothers

From the title of this post, one might assume I am going to blog about my mother. Well, one would be wrong. Were I to do that, I'm afraid, this site would ban me for life!

Instead, I am going to blog about other mothers in the news. Today while I had my morning coffee, I clicked on the news page and what I found both amazed and depressed me. There was a boy found in an Idaho canal allegedly killed by his step father, a woman in Texas (of course) who cut off her 2 year old son's genitals while on cocaine, meth and zanax, another mother who beheaded her 4 year old son with a common kitchen knife. Great way to start the day wouldn't you say??

I want to expound on the Idaho child for a second. As I read the article, I was shocked at the family's history of murder and abuse. First "mom" (Melissa Jenkins) had 3 children all by different fathers. The oldest child (Robert Manwill) is the one found in the canal. His father sought and received custody of this child back in 2008 but the mother received visitation rights (when you continue reading her history with children you will wonder how she EVER obtained visitation). The boy was on a visitation with his mother when he disappeared. The middle child of this woman was taken away from her by that child's father also in 2008 and the mother has visitation rights however, she is never allowed to be alone with the child (good thinking on the part of that dad). The baby of the "family" is the offspring of "mom's" current husband (Daniel Ehrlick Jr.) who is a convicted felon with a previous history of battery convictions.

Back in 2008, mom was convicted of slamming the baby's head against "a solid surface" which resulted in fracturing the baby's skull. This is what prompted the other dad's to seek and gain custody of their children. The mom was given probation for this act. Had the Court given her the punishment she deserved and immediately stepped in and removed the child from her home, I have no doubt that this baby's half brother would never have been found floating in a canal. But, as I've stated before in my blogs, children are treated as possessions in this country. If you fracture your dogs skull and get caught, you will never get that dog back. You fracture your child's skull and you get probation AND the kid comes home to live with you so you can finish the job.

Another interesting (but sad) note is that this little boy's father (Charles Manwill) had another child. In 1993 his then wife fatally stabbed the 4 year old boy in the chest. This guy really needs to let someone else pick his women. He's not doing too well in this department.

Now on to the Texas woman who castrated her son. Katherine Nadal was high on meth, zanax and cocaine when she took a knife and completely removed her infant sons genitals. She blamed it on their small dog and continues to deny she ever "harmed" her son. The genitals were never found and there is speculation that she either fed them to the dog or flushed them down the toilet. At any rate, this child is looking at years of surgery and even more years of therapy to deal with this mutilation. In one of the first examples of emotion in any of these cases, the father had to be escorted from the courtroom when the verdict was read. Katherine shouted out "I didn't harm my child" when the verdict was read. When the father heard her, he stood up and lambasted her before being escorted from the Courtroom. HURRAH'S FOR HIM! He screamed at her that she had abused him in the womb by being high while she was pregnant. This 23 year old received 99 years in prison. The Court remarked that they wanted to make sure she was well beyond child bearing age by the time she gets out.

Texas has a rich and plentiful history of bizarre ways to kill your children. They really do. If I were a child and my parents even mentioned moving to Texas, I'd run!! Must be something in the water??

But that's just me.

Jon & Kate plus 8, Kate plus 8, Jon plus Hailey, whatever

Reality show update here!! Unless you're a Buddhist monk or live in a cave high in the Andes, you know who these folks are. Well, today's blog is to update you on the latest shenanigans of reality TV's most "affable" couple.

My daughter and I watched the entire first season (along with the however many specials that aired prior to the first season). We loved it! We loved that they lived in a small house overflowing with babies and baby items. We loved that Jon and Kate seemed to work as a team to care for all of these babies. Albeit a highly dysfunctional team, but a team nonetheless.

Initially, Kate's verbal slamming of Jon was attributed (in our minds) to her overwhelming daily routine (that was before we found out that they had scads of help 24/7. Back in the early years, Kate denied that they had any regular help). We marveled at Kate's extraordinary organizational skills. I mean, I only had 2 children and yet my floors most certainly did not get cleaned immediately after each meal. We thought this woman was amazing!

Then came season two. TLC began airing more and more of Kate's verbal punches to Jon and gradually the story emerged that Kate had constant help from a multitude of caregivers. No wonder she had time to do the floors 3 times a day (IF she was indeed the one doing the floors and not one of her workers). Still, we tried to watch it that season but only made it through maybe 4 of the shows before we stopped watching. Kate berated Jon at every turn and worse, she talked smack about him to her kids! One of the older twins became an overly aggressive smart mouthed little terror and the babies (now toddlers) were shown pushing one another and crying all the time and biting, it became not so great of a show. It became like a video that you make to get Supernanny to come to your house and show you how to parent.

Now that you're caught up on that, let's jump forward to the latest news on the Gosselin family.

Just days after TLC announced its decision to take Jon out of the show renaming the show "Kate plus 8", Jon gets "an epiphany" (he actually used that term) and decides to lock TLC out of his family home and shuts down shooting. He gives interview after interview stating that his getting fired had NOTHING to do with his actions. He insists that he did this for the protection of his kids. Right.

Someone needs to tell Jon Gosslin that had he done this even a month ago, maybe then some idiot who lives with Buddhist monks in a cave MIGHT believe it, but the timing was just a touch suspicious for anyone else to come close to believing that he stopped shooting (which by the way, is what puts food on his children's table) because of his "concern" for the kids.

He certainly appeared fine with it as recently as a week before he was fired. He happily showed up to film and did his thing never uttering a single word about his concerns for his children and the effects the show was having on them.

I believe that were Jon a woman, they would have pulled the plug on that show long ago. No one likes to watch a woman being verbally and emotionally abused. No one likes to see a daddy talking smack about the mommy to the kids. However, it appears that it's okay to show mommy as the abuser. If Jon were a woman, I think he would be diagnosed with "battered woman syndrome". I truly do. Kate has beaten him down repeatedly over the years. I actually think that what I saw on TV was her being on her "best" behavior. Can you imagine how she treated him once the camera crew left??

It was really no surprise to me to see him become a party guy once he left (or she kicked him out whichever). If you look at women who break free from their abusive husbands, they oftentimes will run the streets wild for a period. I'm not saying Jon handled this whole thing well or intelligently. Because he certainly did NOT. What I am saying is that it didn't surprise me in the least.

However, he is not showing the kids how to be an adult. Neither is Kate, but at least she appears to be concentrating on being a mother where Jon is concentrating on being a frat boy. Albeit now, an unemployed frat boy.

My bet is now that the news of his dismissal has hit the airwaves, all his trips to ski and weekends at the vacation homes of famous designers will abruptly end.

Which brings up another point. This summer, Jon spent a long weekend with a famous designer. Said designer wanted to hire Jon's kids to model and be the spokespeople for his line of children clothing. Jon had NO problem with that. He was all over it. Now being a mother myself, which would I prefer for my kids? Having a TV crew follow them around while they do what they do all day anyway or trying to make 8 kids be still so as not to mess up their hair and make up and then be still some more so they can have their pictures taken all day long??

I've done the take the kids to the studio for pictures thing when my kids were small and trust me, it was a nightmare just getting that done occasionally. To try to make that happen every day??? Oh hell no!

Then we have the "Jon stole all our money from the bank and I can't pay the bills now" versus, "Kate has a million dollars hidden away and I only took $22,500 out of the bank which was my paycheck". Hmmmm. First, Jon, it has surfaced that $22,500 is the FAMILY paycheck NOT all yours. Secondly, the money that Kate socked away actually was earned because of HER book and personal appearances. Which would make it HER money NOT yours to squander on designer clothes and loose women (aka Hailey Glassman). If you want YOUR money then you should have taken 1/10 of that sum which would have only been $2,250 and left the rest for Kate to spend keeping food, shelter and clothing for the kids that YOU helped bring into this world. Course, you might have had to stay home a couple of nights a week rather than party, but hey, that's what parents do all over the world in order to support their kids.

So my conclusion with the Jon side of this is that he has behaved in the worse possible way during this split with Kate. Battered or not, he has shown the world (and his kids) that he is extremely self centered, a doormat, whiny, "nothing is my fault", rather party than parent kinda guy who takes money out of his children mouths in order to support his new "swinger" lifestyle. Not much love for you there, Jon. I was rooting for you when I first heard that you had jumped ship on Kate, but now I'm thinking she should have booted your behind years ago.

Now onto Kate. Where to begin?? I will say that Kate Gosselin is one smart cookie when it comes to parlaying having 8 kids into living in a multi million dollar home. However, I am wondering how much of the money that THE KIDS earn every week actually goes into an account for the kids?? My bet? Zero. I don't know if Pennsylvania has laws in effect to force parents to put aside a certain amount of the kids earnings like California and New York have. I doubt they do. Which means Kate can spend the money any old way she pleases.

The stories about Kate's abusive nature have been rampant. Even before the separation. Stories like why you never saw the grandparents on their show or any of their aunts and uncles save for Kate's sister in law and brother who were suddenly erased from the show early on.

Kate's MO appears to be "as long as you keep your mouth shut about anything that I say and do, you can remain in the lives of my children. However, come even close to criticism and you are out!!" She has systematically cut off all of the kids relatives. These kids will grow up without having that extended family connection simply because Kate is just so hard to get along with.

My parents prevented me from being close to my multitude of cousins growing up and I missed that so much! Especially once I became an adult and looked the cousins up and tried to have a relationship with them. It was impossible. They were total strangers to me and it always hurt me to listen to them talk about "remember when we were kids?" stuff with the other cousins. There was just this whole other world that they all shared that I was and would never be a part of. That's what the Gosselin kids are facing.

Kate is perhaps the most narcissistic person on TV. She seems to think the world really does revolve around her and her wants and needs. It's a good thing that she had so many kids because the chances are great that a big majority of them are going to grow up to hate that woman. At least with this many kids, she may possibly get one of the bunch that will come see her on a regular basis once they're grown.

Just wait for the teenage years! Wow! Now I'd watch that show! They are going to tear Kate Gosselin up when they become teenagers. She is going to have to hire full time bodyguards in order to just keep them in the house on a school night! She thinks it's hard to corral 8 toddlers? Just try to corral 8 teenagers. I feel for her there!

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Personally, I have always thought that social services should have stepped in and put a stop to this show a long time ago. When they were just doing a couple of specials a year, it was fine. But now with them filming all the time, it's too much. These kids need to be kids and they certainly don't need for the world to be watching them all the time. Especially with the divorce turning as ugly as it has. They need some private time and not just when they're asleep. They don't need the world (and their classmates) to see all of this. It's just not right.

Before I end this tirade, I'd like to blog a bit about Kate's "holier than thou" attitude.

Remember Octomom? I have seen numerous clips of Kate on the Larry King show and Kate on the Today show, on The View and various other shows where Kate repeatedly looks down her nose at Octomom. Seriously looks down her nose at Octomom. Now I myself, feel enormous disdain for Octomom and firmly believe that instead of having scores of kids, she needed to be in a mental health facility but that's just my opinion. I don't get on TV and label myself the supermom of all supermoms either.

She gets on "Christian" television shows and professes to be this immaculate Christian while all the time she is abusing her husband, exploiting her children, talking smack about people she has never met and being an all round bitch. Not impressive in my book.

But that's just me.