Becky Marzo case

WARNING: LONG BLOG TODAY

Yesterday (or maybe the day before) I blogged about the Becky Marzo/Carl Rodgers case. Then much to my surprise and excitement I found the video that aired on 20/20 last night about this same case. Of course, I watched it.

Below are a few "afterthoughts" of mine concerning this case and a few inconsistencies that I have noticed on both sides. Please feel free to comment.

Karren Kraemer is just not a sympathetic spokesperson for this case (or any other) in my opinion. It is very obvious that since she has gained her "celebrity" status, she has had a major make over and to that point, she looks better (MUCH better) but still, she absolutely GRATES on my very last nerve.

She appears to be doing rather well for herself now that she is the poster child for grieving mothers everywhere. She also appears to consider herself an expert in this field without having to go through all the pesky hassle and expense of actually going to college and getting a degree in counseling that the rest of us had to suffer. Bully for her!!

Also, Ms. Karren (yes, this is how she spells her name - it is not a typo) also seems to "color the truth" a lot to her benefit. Now she is the first to shout LIAR!! at anyone else, but she apparently feels it's okay for her to lie. Oh yeah!! She's the grieving mother. I keep forgetting that. That's probably why she feels so entitled (there's that word I bandy about in every blog) to destroy the lives of everyone she encounters. I get it now.

To be fair to Ms. Kraemer, I truly feel that in the very beginning of this entire mess, her intentions were to prove that Carl had murdered her daughter. I don't doubt that. However, VERY early on, it is obvious to me, that her motivation changed from proving Carl murdered her daughter to more of a "I'm not a bad mother and didn't raise a bad daughter" motivation.

Had I read that when they first learned she was missing the father went over to Carl's house and beat the crap out of him in an effort to get at the truth, I would have gladly ponied up some money to help with his bail/defense. Sure. Or even if I had read that Karren had gone to his job and confronted him square on. Same thing. But the odd thing about all of this is, neither of them ever did that. Instead a behind your back, shadow, sneaky cat and mouse game was initiated. I have no patience for that or for the people who do it. I don't care what your reasoning behind it is. Of course, I'm from the South and we tend to handle these situations a little differently down here.

Let's get to the inconsistencies and outright bull of the matter shall we:

1. Karren said Becky never missed a day of work. Everyone else said Becky never could keep a job.

2. Karren said Becky was studying for her CPA. Becky hadn't even finished community college. I doubt seriously she was studying for her CPA.

3. Karren stated a manager of one of the T&A clubs in Florida told her that Becky was given a job bartending because they felt sorry for her. The FBI in their official report stated Becky was a pole dancer who was prostituting herself and selling drugs. Now who does she think we are going to believe?? A manager of a club who more than likely felt sorry for Karren and didn't know how to tell her that her daughter was being pimped out (IF indeed a manager actually even said that) OR the FBI who put it in their official report! Come on here! If you are going to go on national television - you need to tell the truth. The good, the bad and the ugly of it. If you want people to back you in your "quest" then you need to be honest and present all sides or just stay the hell at home. If she truly wants to find her daughter, she needs to put it all out there in the hopes that someone will say "hey, I remember this hooker/dancer/addict who sounded like her!" You don't need to color it too far in any direction because if you insist that she is a church going saint if someone sees a hooker that they think might be Becky, they'll just shrug it off - couldn't be her! She's a hooker and Becky is a saint.

4. Karren would have us believe that Becky and her 4 siblings and her entire family were so very close. Then why is it that whenever Becky did one of her disappearing acts, she never (not once) contacted one of her siblings or her parents? As a matter of fact, Becky told the FBI when they found her in Florida (this is also in their official report) that she hated her family and wanted nothing to do with them which should be evidenced by the fact that she and her family had not spoken in over 8 months before her final disappearance. When Becky came back from Florida did she move in with her parents or a sibling or an aunt? No, she moved in with a friend and then went back to Carl. Doesn't sound so very close knit to me. Karren didn't even know that Becky had gone back to Carl until she was told that Becky had disappeared again.

5. Karren wants to say that Becky was this innocent, simple, God fearing, selfless perfect virginal girl. Again, if you are going to go on national television, you need to be honest. If you want to perpetuate that illusion don't go on national television. Especially if you are going to allow her closest friends to be on there too. They were on the 20/20 show last night. ROUGH looking girls. All of them. ROUGH. There is NO way I would let any one of them inside my house if they were going to hang out with my daughter. No way. Carl's stepfather said it succinctly when he stated that there was a "hardness" about Becky. That she had this "edge". I believe that if her friends are any indication. He further said he felt it was as if Becky had been through some things in her life that had hardened her. Well, being a prostitute at the age of 21 should do that to you. Along the lines of Karren's spin on the virginal Becky is the ever present sickening Pooh bear story. If I hear one more time how a grown woman is in love with Pooh bear and all Disney movies, I will puke. To me that either indicates Becky had emotional issues (seriously, I'm not being facetious. Whenever a grown woman still sleeps with teddy bears and watches Disney movies rather than material more suited to her age group, it usually indicates a deep and severe emotional fear of abandonment, insecurities and a plethora of other possible issues) or that Karren didn't know Becky past the age of 12 OR that she is trying to spin Becky's image so we will forget all about the prostitute thing. Didn't work. Only made me nauseous. Word of advise, Karren, slow down the spin machine a bit. You have cranked it up WAY too high.

6. Karren states that when Becky disappeared this last time and she was told that Becky might be back in Florida she went down there with thousands of posters and thousands of dollars in cash in her pocket to walk around the prostitutes and drug addicts paying for information about Becky but she didn't get any so to her that was proof that Becky was not there! Wow. What a Sherlock Holmes this woman is don't you think?? One might think that until they discover that not only did she have cash and flyer's but was also flanked by police. I don't hang out with prostitutes as a rule but I can imagine that were I a prostitute or drug addict and I was approached by this old white woman flanked by cops and she began to ask me questions, I am pretty sure I'd feign ignorance too. I doubt they'd get any information out of me. Pretty sure of that. What a putz.

7. Now about this whole Becky's terrified of Carl thing. I actually did counsel abused and battered women for about 5 years as a licensed professional. I realize that just may not be as high a qualification as those of Karren but let me just try to get this right. Bear with me here. Becky is terrified of Carl yet she goes out most nights with her friends and they stay out at the bars until closing time and she comes home as late as 3 a.m. Carl calls and texts her numerous times during the evenings and she turns off the phone and goes back to her partying. Do I have that right?? Here is my take on that. Becky is most certainly not afraid of Carl. No way. Women who are in abusive relationships and who are genuinely afraid of their abusers do nothing that would risk enraging their abusers. NOTHING. Were she truly an abused woman, first she probably would never have gone out with her girlfriends without him, secondly had she been brave enough to have gone out without him when he called or texts her, she would have answered each and every time and third when he said come home - you can bet if she had to walk there, she would have gone home immediately. Another reason I do not see Becky as a battered woman is the fact that it breaks all known patterns. Abusers use control (mostly through isolation) and fear to keep their mates. Carl never would have allowed Becky to "run the streets" if he had been an abuser. He would never have allowed Becky to even have friends if he were an abuser. Abusers isolate their victims. That's part of the control and fear process. They convince them that they (the abuser) is the ONLY person in the entire world who really loves them. LOOK IT UP KARREN!

8. Karren and Becky's friends cite as proof that Carl killed Becky the fact that the last time she disappeared, he never called any of them looking for her. Most people, when they have a fight with their mate and the mate leaves do indeed try to track them down so they can talk with them because they want to make up and reunite. However, once any person is done trying to make a relationship work, they are finished which means they no longer try to track the other person down. It means they start rebuilding their lives and try to find someone new. If he's done with her - why would he call any of them to try to find her?? Come on.

9. Karren states that another bit of proof that he killed Becky is that fact that several months after her disappearance he traveled to Canada to meet a woman he had met online. Yep. That's what she said. Makes you turn your head to the side and say "huh?" doesn't it? Well, the good "Dr." Karren says that when a person wants to know if the police are watching them, they ALWAYS take a long trip to see if they are followed. AHHHHH. NOW I get it. Of course! It wasn't that he wanted to be in a relationship or find a wife who would share his and his children's life. It was just so he could see if he was being followed. Why didn't I see that???

10. Karren said she knows her daughter is dead because she let her Wisconsin DL expire and hasn't renewed it. Well, Karren, if she's not living in Wisconsin why would she want to renew it? Hello?? Also, by Karren's own admission it was nearly 2 years before Becky was listed with NCIC as an endangered missing person. If Becky, during those 2 years, got a new DL in a different state I doubt NCIC would have picked up on that 2 years later.

11. She also states that her social security number hasn't been used. If she's hooking, I don't believe they declare taxes - do they? Maybe she's not hooking. Maybe she's living with a guy (or girl) who makes enough to support them both and she's not working at all? Maybe she's in Mexico or Canada at which point her social would be pretty useless. Ever think of that?

12. Karren also states she left behind her last paycheck and her credit cards. Look. If I were going to run away at the spur of the moment and I knew that the last time I ran away mom had the FBI all over me, do you think I'd bother with waiting around to pick up my last paycheck OR my credit cards? No. I wouldn't.

13. Karren (and Becky's friends) went on a bit about her not taking her cell phone with her and how she was practically addicted to her cell phone. Just because you don't take the cell phone with you doesn't mean you can't get another one where ever you land. Also, if she is trying to disappear, why would she want to take a cell phone with her that everyone has the number to? That would really be stupid.

NOW. Let's turn to Carl's inconsistencies:

1. Why didn't he put a stop or at least try to put a stop to this harassment? Why didn't his family at least try? Did they try and I just don't know about it? Could be. From all I've read no one tried. I find that really odd. Carl had no obligation to prove his innocence but at the same time, when you are getting fired from job after job because of this crazy woman coming to your job and passing out flyer's stating that you killed her daughter and your family is being stalked, wouldn't it be a good idea to speak to the police or a lawyer about making her stop this nonsense?? I mean really?

2. Carl continued to pay her cell phone bill for several months after she disappeared. I do find that odd. Why would he do that? I can think of only two possible reasons that he might do this. One to make people think she was still alive for a time or secondly to be able to see who is calling her so he can maybe get a reading on where she might be? Still, that part doesn't look too good.

3. Why would he tell the police and Karren during his first interrogation (possibly his only interrogation I'm not sure on that point) that 2 black men kicked in his door and kidnapped her telling him they were taking her to Florida to be a prostitute? Do kidnappers often tell the witnesses they leave untouched where they are taking the victim and for what reason?? Mighty polite of them I'd say. And if the above really happened, then why didn't he call the police? I find that very strange. As an extra note, this is the only time that I could find that he ever repeated this story. From that point on, he simply stated he kicked her out because she was hanging with some people he didn't want around his kids. Maybe when he was being interrogated in front of Karren he decided to spit that at her to hurt or frighten her? I don't know. People do and say stupid stuff when they are cornered.

Now on this point, I'm not sure whether to slap this onto Karren or Carl's list so I'll just put it out here by itself. What about Becky's stuff? If she was living with Carl wouldn't her stuff be there? Was her stuff there when the police finally came and tested his apartment with the luminol? That is never mentioned in anything I've read or watched and I find that odd. For one thing, as far as the police are concerned, I would think if her stuff was still there when they came to test for blood it would raise a large red flag. Or at least it would with me. Women don't usually leave their stuff. They might leave their man but they're taking their shoes. So what happened to her stuff? Did the police go through it for clues? Did Karren get it? Did Carl refuse to let anyone have it? Did some of her stuff turn up in a dumpster or in the Goodwill donation boxes? This point bothers me because it's never addressed. If I were Karren and Becky's stuff was still there or found its way to a dumpster or whatever, I would be telling the world about it because to me, that might indicate that she might not have left alive. So it almost tells me that all of her stuff was gone because I can't believe Sherlock Karren would miss the opportunity to throw that bit of information around.

Okay. Let's tally up now. I have 13 issues with Karren and 3 with Carl and 1 that is just kinda out there. Still, a little top heavy wouldn't you say??

Now let's move on to the "witnesses" shall we?

First there's the EX-stepmother of Carl. Operative word being EX. Karren and the ex are BFF's. Of course they are. Ex-stepmother dislikes the Rodgers family. She is ready, willing and able to spew whatever dirt she can think of at the Rodgers family. Just not a credible witness to me. Really not. Besides the only information she had to offer was that Carl had a bad temper. She didn't cite any examples or say she ever actually saw his temper. Just that she knew he had one. (get the electric chair ready! That's enough for a conviction!).

Then there is June. She was the most recent girlfriend after Becky. She was the girlfriend that Carl had broken up with just very shortly before he committed suicide. June was on the special last night. Please forgive me when I say that June appeared to (how can I say this?) have a very low IQ??? She didn't appear to be "all there"?? She had all the class of a wet mop used last to clean up the overflow from a public toilet. I have no idea what Carl saw in that person. Seriously. Does this tell you that I didn't buy one single word that came out of this person's very oddly shaped mouth? Does this tell you that I firmly believe - it is my fervent opinion - that she was paid to file rape charges against Carl and she gladly did it? Her story last night about how he chased her around the house with a belt actually made me chuckle. The reporter asked her for specific examples of the abuse she said Carl bestowed upon her and that was as good as she could get?? She also never said the word rape. She said he had "intercourse" with her after she told him no. She told her story without emotion, without detail, without conviction. I found it reprehensible that 20/20 would even allow her to tell that story without following it with the disclaimer that Carl had an airtight alibi for the time June said he had raped her and that the charges were dismissed. Three days after she filed the charges against him, he committed suicide. CARL WAS OUT OF STATE WHEN THE ALLEGED RAPE OCCURRED. HE HAS AN AIRTIGHT ALIBI. The police were in the process of dropping the charges against him when he killed himself.

When Karren was asked about this last night she replied that she felt if she couldn't get him on murdering Becky then just maybe she could get him for raping June. Her eyes literally gleamed when she said this and she leaned in towards the reporter. She was gleeful with her "master plan". It literally sickened me to watch.

Although I can't find proof of this, many people have alleged that when Carl kicked June out of his house, Karren let her live with her and June was well taken care of for her role in the whole rape charge business. I don't doubt this at all. I feel confident that Karren would resort to this type of behavior and I feel equally as confident that it wouldn't take much to convince June to do it.

It should come as no surprise when I say that Karren Kraemer is a phony. She actually could be suffering from a form of Munchausen Syndrome. While Munchausen Syndrome refers to a factitious disorder with primarily physical symptoms, the term is sometimes used to refer to factitious disorders in general. I believe Ms. Kraemer to exhibit the general factitious disorder whereby she is uncontrollably seeking attention in a grandiose manner. This would be considered a personality disorder.

To further explain (please forgive the technicality my blog has taken for a second - I just want to qualify my feelings in this regard) A personality disorder would be characterized by the chronic use of mechanisms of coping in an inappropriate, stereotyped, and maladaptive manner. Personality disorders are enduring and persistent styles of behavior and thought, not atypical episodes. The personality disorders encompass a group of behavioral disorders that are different and distinct from the psychotic and neurotic disorders. The official psychiatric manual, the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association , Fourth Edition), defines a personality disorder as an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that differs markedly from the expectations of the individuals culture, is pervasive and inflexible, has an onset in adolescence or early adulthood, is stable over time, and leads to distress or impairment. Personality disorders are a long-standing and maladaptive pattern of perceiving and responding to other people and to stressful circumstances.

Karren is certainly behaving and has behaved throughout this ordeal in a pervasive and inflexible manner. Her behavior certainly has differed markedly from the expectations of her culture.

To end this tirade, I will say that if Karren Kraemer has anyone that loves her, they need to step in and get her the help she so desperately needs. Karren does not need to be counseling prisoners or victims of abuse. She does not need to be the keynote speaker at "womens luncheons". She does not need to receive (not does she deserve to receive) awards for her "work" in furthering victims rights. She needs to be hospitalized with intense psychiatric help and if she had anyone in her life that gave two shakes about her, that is exactly where she would be right now rather than systematically ruining an entire family's lives and means of support by her vigilantism.

Let's be frank for a minute. Becky had a long and turbulent history where her relationship with her family (especially her mother) was concerned. She had exhibited long periods of complete abandonment of them. Couple this with the fact that maybe (if Karren is to be believed) her relationship with Carl wasn't going so well (Carl himself told his family that he had kicked her out that night). Undoubtedly Becky had friends from her days in the T&A club that she still knew. After all it wasn't that long ago from the time she finally disappeared for good. Maybe Becky decided that Wisconsin and all the headache and heartaches associated with it was just not for her and she left.

People up and leave every day of every month of every year in this world. They aren't all killed. Most of them are starting their lives over without the pressures of their old lives. She may never again contact her friends and family in Wisconsin but then again, she might.

When asked last night if Karren would feel bad for her actions if Becky walked in the door alive, she said no.

That in a nutshell should sum up the entire character of Karren Kraemer.

But that's just me.