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Thursday, July 8, 2010

LiLo's Angst

Today's blog is about crime. However, not the usual serial killer/simple murderer crime that I love to blog about. Today's blog is about Lindsey Lohan crime. Yep. After watching her court appearance yesterday on TV in its entirety (it was like a train wreck and I simply could not turn away from it), I felt the urge to address this drama queen.

When LiLo was arrested this last time, I was stunned that she only got probation and the ankle alcohol monitoring bracelet. I mean come on!! In ONE year this chick was arrested for not one but TWO DUI's, she hijacked an SUV and careened down the public highways chasing the middle aged mother of her assistant, she was caught with cocaine in her possession and even admitted to being under the influence of cocaine during her second arrest. Probation and bracelet??

Had that been ME, I would have been forced to surrender my license and go to the pokey for a year or better. But she is a "star" so in my opinion, she was given preferential treatment. I guess the judge figured someone had to support that family of hers and with Lindsey in jail what would the Lohan family do? They might be forced to move to an apartment (shudder) or (God forbid) trade their vehicles in for something horrendous like perhaps a Camry! No, the judge couldn't do that to them! So, probation, required education classes and ankle bracelet it is!

In watching Lindsey yesterday, I was aghast at her behavior. I kept waiting for the judge to ask Lindsey's attorney to get her client under control or risk contempt charges. But the judge simply ignored Lindsey's tantrum when her sentence was read.

Now, you may be thinking "Tantrum? The poor child had just been sentenced to 90 days in jail! Anyone would have reacted the same way!" To that I say "Nope". Lindsey wasn't sentenced to life without parole or given a death sentence for pity's sake! She got 90 days in the slammer in a private cell no less. And let's not forget that in California, the state will allow those in private cells to bring in personal items for their own comfort. Since the law is vague as to defining "personal items" it has been abused time and time again by celebrities.

Lindsey cried loudly, she talked while the judge was speaking, she turned in her seat and spoke to people in the courtroom, she talked to her attorney, she continuously displayed her nails which had "F-U" painted on them.

Then it came time for her to address the court. Now at this time, every citizen knows, this is your one and only moment to make the judge your friend. Did Lindsey do that? Nope. She whined. "I did everything I was supposed to do" "I tried to balance work and my sentence as best I could" "I thought I was in compliance"

Hmmm. "I did everything I was supposed to do". Obviously you didn't. And if you didn't know that, perhaps the attorney sitting next to you should have made that abundantly clear. You were supposed to abstain from ALL alcohol yet your bracelet went off on two separate occasions. The first one, you convinced the Court, was a misreading and they gave you that one. However, the second one immediately after the MTV awards? They didn't go for your explanation.

Then there was the inconvenient matter of attending the required alcohol classes. How did you address that little matter? You stated in court that you were too busy with work to be bothered with those. The court allowed you to even travel outside the country on more than one occasion and you thank them by not attending or even attempting to attend your required classes. Guess you figured who needs alcohol classes? You seem to know everything there is to know about consuming alcohol so a class about it would be rather redundant, don't you agree?

And how about those annoying court dates? Seriously. Would anyone cut their vacation on a tropical island short just to go back to LA and sit in a stuffy court room and be forced to listen to people talk? I mean, like she'd even understand what they were talking about unless they gave her the transcript and it was heavily illustrated.

We have all heard (ad nauseaum) of her parents from hell. News flash Lindsey! LOTS of people had horrible parents. Thousands of people in this country had parents that would make yours look like Ozzie and Harriet yet they don't snub the court. Most of them will never even appear in a court room. So, my advise to Lindsey is to drop the "poor me" act. She has used the last ounce of public pity in that department. At least as far as I'm concerned.

In reality, she's actually one lucky gal.

She's lucky she didn't kill or permanently maim someone while driving drunk.

She's extremely lucky that she was busted in LA, where she was let go after her first DUI arrest, only to do it again two months later.

She's lucky because when she was busted in May, carrying cocaine, she didn't have enough for a felony charge.

Want to talk about being lucky? How about the fact that when she was arrested again in July, the arresting officer actually threw away the powder which was concealed in a Clinique Sun Care card, because he thought it was a crushed mint. (really, I'm not making that up)

Lindsay did admit to being under the influence of cocaine and alcohol and she was lucky again - serving just 84 minutes in jail for hijacking an SUV and chasing down the middle-age mother of her assistant.

At this point, her attitude could have been, "Wow, I can't believe that cop just threw my cocaine away thinking it was crushed mint!" or, "Wow, I was in the pokey less time than it takes to watch one of my films!" ... Thank you, God, Now I think maybe I'll get my act together."

But alas, this was not the case. Instead, she just kept feeling sorry for herself. After all, this is LiLo's drama, and we are all just so blessed to be allowed to live in it.

But that's just me.

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